Loss of Love

Pain doesn’t hurt, I feel my emotions drain as I lose my worth

Love is gone , emotion moved on

The soft touch of the hand, gone forever

Looking for the spark , just from whomever

I need to feel, I desire the feed

My heart weep’s

My soul in need

No longer the mix of her and I

Emotion , desire, sex

Good Bye…

Touch me , please

The new day has open my eyes to another wasted effort to be touched. I eagerly desire to be held, to have her put her soft hands on me. I long for the grace that is a woman’s touch be a part of my soul. But again I wait, again my desires will go dim. Time it seems that I feel I will not get the to experience this anymore. I feel that I must be undesirable unloved  or just not wanted.

I ask myself why. What have I done that was so wrong that life will turn away from me. The soul crushing, dismal and dreary lack of human contact. I need to smell her hair , breath in her intoxicating scent that drives men wild. I need to run my hands in her hair. I have desires that begin and end in all things ecstasy. Just the slight brush by the of her arm would be nice.

Lonely I am without the touch

I miss the contact my heart brakes so much

This age I am, for I see no end

Loneliness it seems has become my fate

The recoil burns , my soul deflates

I never thought I would be this way

 But lonely is the most of my day

I will go to sleep and I will dream

Hoping that when I wake ……………

 

 

You know the rest…. 

 

Lonely,

 

Today is just another day

Alone I will be in my thoughts you say,

I ache for the touch of her soft hands

Please let me near you, alone I stand

Lost is the feelings I starve for now

Lonely I am , I don’t know why and I don’t know how

I must be wrong in my desire my need

I wish to let my aching heart feed

My brain hurts with thoughts of lust

Lonely I will be for this is not just

How can I go on living this way

Please let me touch you

So the pain will go away

Lonely I guess will be my bane

Loneliness will forever be my pain….

Inane Babble,

Here again I sit and wonder about life. How is it that we as humans in this life together seem to just miss the point. Do we even know what the point even is? I know that for me I do not know. We all struggle to find our way each and every day. We rise to the same droll mundane existence and muddle through life just barely  getting through.

How can we ever expect to live if we are dead to all that surrounds us? The other day I was in a store and there was a woman in front of me. We both paid and were waiting for our food. For no reason at all I said hello to her just because she was there and it was polite. She said hello in reply and continued to speak and thank me for saying hello. She went on further to say that people just don’t talk anymore. I agreed in that what are we afraid of? Why don’t we talk to other people ? Maybe we are so cought up in our own lives trying to figure them out , that we simply don’t have any room to hear anyone’s story. Maybe we are insecure in our own lives that we don’t have the courage to start a conversation. What ever the reason we just need to do it. No one out there cares about what your eating or where you were lats night or what you’re wearing. Really they just want what you want and that is to just talk. Most people don’t really want to know your life history, most just want to say hi to another person. You never know where it may end up.we all seem to be looking for a friend. But we are to standoffish to just walk up to some one and say hello. 

 Not every conversation needs to lead some where. Just talk and say something funny make them laugh, you will be surprised how it will change their day and you never really know how it may change their life.

 This is rather ironic for me to be commenting about this, I for one don’t like to chat. I am just that way. I will however say hello to strangers. I wont ask how you are or how is it going, sorry I just don’t want to know. I will listen to you if you share and I will show empathy, I will help you, I will give to you. But I just don’t understand why people need to rehash the same old story’s. I guess it is because they just don’t have anything new to say.

 Well I have gone on long enough. I guess I am being presumptuous in that I think anyone might read this crap , but it is my way of letting the world know that I am not just a pretty face. Anyway Just say hi , you never know what may happen……

Complete

I sit and dream as she glides in

 The sun is opening its eyes and the warm rays are caressing my skin

She stands silent the room is without noise

 The gentle rays from the glowing ball of fire shoot across her long beautiful brunette locks

The colors dance throughout the room like a child holding a prism and discovering it’s wonderful gift as it reflects of her soft smooth body

I stare at her wondering if she is aware of the power she holds on my soul

Electricity from her feeds my body and fills my mind, the pleasure is too much

Long I sit eager for her touch, a look a stare not asking to much

Then it happens it all comes to a head 

She looks at me she smiles, throws me a wink

Now I am Complete….

 

Visual two stepp

The beauty and grace of a woman,

      I look and I see serenity, she glows in the cool dim light.

Smoke gently laps at her smooth shoulders eager awaiting the next touch

A gentle smooth glide as she saunters her way

Grace from her blesses my day

I gaze upon this beauty stumbling for thought, as if her grace has eaten my words and left me mute

Babbling like a child I seem aloof brain and mouth just don’t connect I am a goof 

One should feel luck to see such beauty

This vision is driving me crazy, she passes by me and her scent eats my soul

Gliding as if her feet can’t touch the floor 

Off she goes I see her back , bare skin, soft and smooth, my hand reaches to touch

 I see something that catches my eye, tears start to form and I wonder why

A strange mark is placed on her skin, ink it seems has been placed within

A tattoo , it seem , she chose to acquire, no longer I gaze, no longer I admire

I am vexed you see why this would be, why mark and mare a work of art I’ll never see

My head it hangs in sham i feel some things in life just can’t be explained….

 

 

Who is there?,

Today I am sitting here thinking again. I have noticed most of my life that we often miss those closest to us. I don’t mean miss as in I feel sorrow that that those closest to us are far away, I am talking about how we tend to overlook them even though they are standing in front of us.

I have seen all too many times that we tend to not thank someone or say I love you to that special person or family member. I have spoken to many people about this and they tell me aww it is ok that’s family and we don’t need to say anything. I just refuse to conform to that way of thinking. I believe that anyone that does something for you or help you or just loves you, should hear it. that’s what encourages us to do more.

I know that not all the time it is going to happen, but we all need to make sure that we see the gift that is in front of us. Are we so self absorbed that we feel that it is the other person’s sole purpose in this life is to just cater to your needs. how can a person be so callous in that way of thinking.

No matter what the relationship is we need to be gracious of all the offerings that anyone gives to us. I have seen the detrimental effects that this type of behavior has done to a person’s soul. How can a person be so self absorbed and selfish that they deny a family member the glory of feeling and hearing the love from one another?  I just don’t understand people, well I do understand that most people can’t see beyond their own personal needs. what I mean is that we are all looking to be accepted we all want to be loved. When it is looking at you square in the face and asking you for sweet and kind words, how you can deny what they seek?

Life would be so much better if we all thought beyond ourselves and treated those closest to us they way they want and we need.

I think that in this world of social media that this idea of my be too much to ask. but one can hope that sooner or later that we will get to that place where we all get the love and thanks that we need and so deserve.

Not a Good Friend,

I am not a good friend, I know this. I will listen to you, I will help you. I will go out of my way for you, I will dry your tears. I will empower you, I will give you all the hope you need to move forward, and hold you up as you do so. I will pick you up when you fall, And I will help fix your pain when you rise.

What I won’t do is, talk down to you , I won’t discourage you, I won’t belittle you. I also won’t give you any of my woe and sorrow.

That last part is what makes me  a bad friend.

 I have learned that in order to be a good friend one needs to share with the other.  Talk and give of your emotional health to your friend. Share with them so they can see that you do have emotions and that you’re capable of being vulnerable. No one can do it all by themselves, believe me I have tried. 

But for me it is very difficult to give that part of me out to just anyone, and for that I am truly sorry.  I do value you, I do respect you I think you’re amazing. You deserve better, But after a life of  let downs and disappointments , I have built a fence that can not be scaled. I simply refuse to let anyone in. Maybe one day I will open my gate and let the right person in , but until then I will to live in the dark and in an emotional void.

So I move forward in my quest to find myself and open my heart to let in or out the heart that so many are willing to give. Maybe if I can do that I will be able to actually live.

 

Heaven,

A beautiful woman alone she waits Gasp I gulp my breath escapes Her eyes bright like stars in the night Smolder as they do, the look is just right Her skin hot to the touch Soft, smooth, I have los…

Source: Heaven,